It's not you, It's me
by freakingenius
Summary: James and Lily's 7th year. how does James finally get the girl? When did Lily fall for him? Hell, does he even care about her anymore? Drama, schoolwork, teenage lust and Death Eaters. Putting my spin on things. My first fan fic. Rated M for mature themes (a bit of self harm) *Abandoned for now*
1. September 11

Disclaimer: Clearly not mine...

LILY POV

"GET UP FREAK!"

I groaned and woke up to Petunia's screeches for what seemed like the hundredth time these holidays. Never had I been so happy for September 1st to arrive; escaping Petunia, seeing my friends again AND being made head girl did that to you.

I studied myself in the mirror; my striking green eyes stared back at me. The smattering of freckles across my nose had become more obvious with the sun in the past holiday. My trunk was packed, as was my style, and my outfit was all ready to go. I sprinting down the stairs to give my mother a hug and peck on the cheek before starting on my pancakes.

Joanne Evans looked exactly like her younger daughter, but with blue eyes and graying hair from the stresses that came with her job and constant arguments of her daughters. Despite being a lawyer, she struggled to settle things diplomatically and had long given up on the two getting along.

"So why do I need to be up so early? It's only 9 o'clock."

"Because I'm getting dropped off at Vernon's before u go to freak school now hurry up and eat your breakfast.'

I rolled rolled eyes, not bothering to dignify that with an answer. Petunia knew as well as her that she could easily have slept until 10 and gotten away with it. Instead, I chose to eat, reflecting that I could at least plan the prefect meeting with the head boy while I waited for 11:00 to arrive.

Now in the car on the way to Vermin, sorry, Vernon's house, I returned to pondering the question that had plagued me ever since she had received her Hogwarts letter. Exactly who was the head boy? The letter had not told me, and I was bordering on desperate now. I'd originally thought it was Remus Lupin, my fellow Gryffindor prefect for the past 2 years, but after exchanging owls, knew it not so. Remus was part of a group of pranksters in my year that called themselves the Marauders. Remus had sandy blonde hair and blue eyes that made you feel special when he listened to you talk. Lily had always wondered how someone so studious ended up with the others. Petter Pettigrew was a short, plump boy, and honestly, quite a daft one. He seemed to have a special reverence for the remaining two members of the group. Sirius black had long black hair, with grey eyes, and one of the hottest guys at school. He probably had the record for the most girlfriends ever for someone at Hogwarts – and he hadn't even begun their seventh year. Finally, James Potter, the bane of my existence, the pig headed, arrogant git who unfortunately, had an obsession with me. It didn't help that he was captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch Team, also one of the hottest guys in the school and also had the second most amount of girlfriends in the school, just behind Sirius.

My brow crinkled as it always did when she thought of Potter, so I thought of the other prefects in my year – Matthew Smith from Hufflepuff who I had not bothered to get to know, Gordon Riley from Ravenclaw, who I was good friends with, and Nicholas Nott of Slytherin. I very much hoped it wasn't the last one, loath I had to share head dormitories with that buffoon.

Pulling into Kings Cross, I gave my parents a most heartfelt goodbye, and stepped through the barrier to Platform 9 and ¾. It had been 7 years since I'd first learnt of its existence and it still gave me feelings of Nostalgia. It was already 10:30 given the traffic, and the platform was already packed full of people. Having changed into my robes already, with the shiny Head Girl badge resting proudly on my chest, I smiled encouragingly to the younger students as I passed, when a high squeal caught my attention just as I was tackled from behind.

"Alice!" releasing a squeal equally as high and drawing many stares from people around them, I threw my arms around my best friend, Alice Prewett. Alice was short, with a pixie cut to her soft brown hair, and had hit it off with Lily in their first year. They made their way through the train to the compartment they had been in since the very first year.

"Lily! Alice!" Three squeals of delight met our ears and we were engulfed in hugs. Recovering and finally sitting down, I couldn't help but grin at the 3 other girls. Marlene McKinnon sat near the window. Her pretty, raven black hair fell beyond her shoulders in a casual wave. Widely regarded as the most beautiful girl at Hogwarts, she soaked up all the attention, especially as she was a beater on the Gryffindor Quidditch Team and had had too many boyfriends to count. Dorcas Meadows sat next to her, with her long blonde hair and was also clearly beautiful. The tallest of the group, she preferred to shy away from the spotlight, despite playing seeker on the Quidditch team. Finally, Mary Macdonald sat next to the door. She had curly brown hair and was significantly girlier than the rest of them.

"I should go to the prefects meeting."

The others all looked at me, Marlene and Dorcas with distinct smirks on their faces. "What is it?" I asked cautiously. "Nothing!" they responded, a little too quickly. Shaking my head, I left, with calls wishing good luck and suggestive innuendos about the head boy following my ears. Reaching the Prefect compartment, I realized no one was here yet, although it was still 15 minutes before the prefect meeting was due to start. Seating myself down, I took out the letter that came with the usual pieces of parchment.

_Lily Evans, I am pleased to inform you that after due consideration, we have decided to make you the Head Girl for the upcoming school term_…

The click of the door opening shook me from my reverie. I looked up, half expecting to see Remus, even though he had told me it wasn't him.

It wasn't Remus.

Nor was it Gordon Riley, or Matthew Smith.

It wasn't even Nott.

It was Potter.

Author's Note: Well it's holidays now so i'll try get another chapter up in the next couple of days. This is my first fan fic so please be nice. PLEASE READ AND REVIEW it means so much. constructive criticism is very appreciated.  
Reviews are chocolate :)


	2. Potter?

Disclaimer: still dont own anything :(

James POV

"Potter?!"

I cringed, the incredulity and hostility in her voice undisguised. "Hey, Evans." The grin that was on her face for a split second had melted into a look of pure and simple disbelief.

"Exactly what are you doing here? This carriage is for prefects and the head boy and girl, and seeing you are neither…"

"Yeah Evans, but I am head boy…" and I trailed off, gesturing to my chest, where the Head Boy badge lay. I saw her eyes widen in shock, but I let it go. The old me would have made some smart ass comment, but I knew better now. I sat down, opposite her, running a hand through my hair, as I always did when I was nervous.

"Where's Remus? I knew this was going to happen as soon as he told me he wasn't head boy. I should've known you were going to pretend that you were. I mean are you really this pathetic Potter? Convincing Remus to give you his badge so you can talk to me?"

The harsh words cut me and I winced back, as if she had whipped me with her words. I stood up, "Do you really think Moony would do something like that, Evans? Because if you do, then you don't know him at all. We all know he's the one with perfect knowledge where the line is, and when to draw it. We all know he wouldn't lie about something like this. I mean is it really that unfathomable that I could've worked to get this badge? That I earned it? That I actually am going to take this thing seriously? Because if you have a problem with this, you can go see Dumbledore when we reach Hogwarts."

She faltered, but she was back, straight away with a retort. This is what I love about her. No, used to love about her. I'm over her now. "And what good if that would do given all the gold you have in your pocket? I'm sure your parents left you their inheritance."

My eyes flashed. She had not just stepped over the line; she'd jumped over it with two feet. She visibly recoiled at my rage. I slammed my hand down on the table, ignoring the pain that shot up my arm, but when I spoke, the calmness in my voice scared even myself, "Is that what you really think of me? That I bribed Dumbledore, the greatest wizard ever?"

"There's a muggle saying: everyone has a price. And you're not exactly limited by galleons are you?"

"Is it beyond your comprehension, Evans, that maybe I worked for this? That maybe, I earned this? That maybe, I plan to take this seriously?" I hadn't really worked for it, but she really didn't need to know that.

She opened her mouth a few times, but closed it again. She looked withdrawn, almost apologetic, "James, I'm…"

The door opened as Remus and Alice walked in – Alice replacing Lily as the Gryffindor female prefect. And good thing too – there was no way I would accept an apology from her. Not after she brought my parents into it. I guess she'd seen the testimonial in the Daily prophet over the summer. The day of the funeral, Dumbledore himself had come, given me my Hogwarts letter, and personally asked me to be Head Boy. I'd accepted, if only to make my parents proud.

I nodded in greeting to Alice, and went over to the other side of the compartment to talk to Moony. Gradually, the other prefects all walked in, and Evans began her speech. Trust Evans to write a speech for a prefect meeting. She told the prefects their duties blah blah blah. I didn't need to do anything apart from wave to the prefects when she introduced me. I was still simmering from the accusations before, and as soon as we were dismissed, I got up, grabbed Remus by the arm, and stormed from the carriage, ignoring the looks the other prefects sent my way.

I dragged him all the way back to our normal compartment, where Padfoot and Wormtail were waiting, chocolate frog and every flavor beans wrappers strewn around the small space. The others all got lost in their conversation, as I sat, looking out on the Scottish countryside, lost in thought. We had nearly reached Hogwarts when I finally spoke, "I'm over her."

The others all looked at each other, then at me, with incredulity. I didn't need to say who 'her' was. They all knew. Me, James Harold Potter, get over Lily Rose Evans? Impossible! Blasphemy! Peter spoke up at this point, "First you're quiet, then you announce that you're over Evans? Who are you and what have you done with Prongs?" I chuckled, "I'm right here, Wormtail, but I swear, I'm over her."

Moony looked seriously worried at this point, "Prongs what happened in those 5 minutes before I got there? You moved away from Evans, like you wouldn't allow yourself to associate with her. She's not a Slytherin u know."

"Yea she doesn't even talk to Snivellus anymore." A worthwhile contribution Padfoot. Not.

"Nothing happened. I just realized she's most certainly not worth it."

They just looked at each other again. Sirius spoke up again, "Mate, don't get me wrong, I'm ecstatic that you're over Evans."

"Yea, cos you're really showing that."

"But you didn't even give up on her when she told the whole school she'd date the Giant squid over you. Nor when she called you arrogant, toe-rag, git, and rest of it."

"Yeah but I deserved all that. Now shut up and get into your robes Padfoot. We're nearly there.

LILY POV

As soon as I said it I wanted to take it back. Curse me and my stupid stubbornness. I didn't mean what I said. I just couldn't believe that Potter was head boy. Potter. Merlin! I'd even brought his parents into it. When my grandmother died of cancer, I started crying at any mention of her for 6 months after that. And here I was, using his parents' murders against him less than a month after the story hit the Daily Prophet. I felt bile rise up my throat at my disgust for myself. Not even Potter deserved that. Harold and Jessica Potter were well known for being top class aurors and speaking out in favour of muggles and muggleborns. Like me. They'd died protecting people like me. And I'd gone and used their deaths because I was too stubborn, too childish to accept their son had grown up over the last year. Of course, it didn't help that this is exactly what Alice reminded me when I told her what happened.

I deserved the silence that he was sending towards me. 6 years he had proclaimed his love for me. 6 years he'd made me feel special, although I'd never admit it, that of all the girls in Hogwarts, school hottie James Potter choose to embarrass himself for me. No doubt hated me now. And I fully deserved it. Guilt wrenched me from the inside as I sat with the girls again, this time, staying silent, thinking. Oh merlin! I had to patrol with him! I had to share dormitories with him! I had to apologize. But I knew if I were him, I wouldn't accept the apology. I'd have to make it up to him, I knew this, but I'd start by apologizing the first chance I could. Affirming this to myself, I turned my head back to the conversation the girls were having, "Marlene you should put your robes on now, we're nearly there."

Author's Note: Well Chapter 2 is up :D although that's quite obvious. I don't have much to do so i'll be on an update roll throughout this week. I changed chapter 1 a little bit, just a few words here and there so nothing major. R/R pleaaaaaaaase!  
love y'all  
reviews are apple crumble with ice cream 3


	3. I'm Sorry

Disclaimer: still not mine

JAMES POV

"James!"

I turned, and there she was, marching towards me with a determined look on her face, her beautiful hair flowing behind her like flames. No. Stop it. You're over her. Then I realized. She'd called me James. And she'd called me James on the train just before Alice and Remus came in. No. I have other matters to attend to.

"Evans. If you'll direct the first years to Hagrid, I'll finish checking the Hogwarts Express for any stragglers." With that, I turned and walked off in the opposite direction, determined to clear my mind.

LILY POV

He just walked away! Given, he was right, we had head duties to perform, so I cast a sonorus charm on myself and raised my voice, "First years over there please!"

Soon, I managed to get on a carriage with some 4th years and made my way up to the majestic castle I had fallen in love with back when I was 11. When I got to the great hall, I noticed my friends were sitting next to the marauders so I sat down between Alice and Peter before noticing that Dorcas and Remus were sitting awfully close to each other… Before I could ponder on it, Potter sat down next to Remus and I was reminded of my task. "Potter…" but he shushed me as Dumbledore stood up to begin the sorting.

Throughout the sorting I wanted nothing more than to apologize, but for the first time in 6 years, he was actually paying attention. I tried to grab his attention again when the sorting ended, but the feast began instantly, leaving the both of us little time to talk while we were busy stuffing our faces with the house elves' glorious cooking.

As the desserts faded into nothing and the rest of the school went to their dormitories to retire for the night, Potter and I remained in our seats, unsure where the head dormitories were. Professor McGonagall arrived, and told us to follow her. Arriving at the 5th floor, she led us to the tapestry of Hogwarts, and gave us the password (pacem in mundo) and left us to our own devices.

"Potter. Wait."

I grabbed his wrist as he walked past but he shrugged me off and virtually sprinted up the stairs to his dormitory. Sighing, I decided to take a look around. I was standing in the middle of the Heads Common Room, which looked like a smaller version of the Gryffindor common room. There were a couple of loveseats near the fire, as well as two mahogany desks on either side of the room that faced each other. Two sets of stair curled around the room and met together in the middle with 3 doors, the middle one being the shared bathroom.

I walked up to my room, and instantly felt at home. A large queen sized bed dominated the room, and the window looked out across the grounds. A mahogany desk just like the ones in the common room stood near another bookshelf, and a second door led out into the bathroom. Despite my turmoil with Potter, I smiled, and changed before falling asleep in extreme comfort.

JAMES POV

I sat down on my new bed, grateful that I didn't have to share a dorm with the guys tonight. They'd been questioning me about what happened with Lily for most of it, but if I told Sirius, he'd kill her. Or humiliate her. Or both. Her accusations had stung me numb. The logical part of me told me that she didn't mean it. That she had only been shocked and was just reacting. That she was trying to apologize because she meant it. But the other part told me she meant it, but just realized it was too harsh, or hadn't meant to say it, but still believed it.

Groaning, I lay back down onto the bed, covering my eyes. She had invaded my thoughts again, shaping them to her will, even though I had promised myself I wouldn't allow that to happen. I shook my head. No. This year would be different, not wasted on a girl that didn't return my feelings. Grunting, I drifted off to an uneasy sleep.

LILY POV

"Charms are so overrated."

I merely grunted my response to Alice's comment, still looking around for Potter. He hadn't been in the head dorm when I left, and I didn't see him at breakfast, but I knew that he, like me, wanted to be an auror, so he would have to be in my charms class. In the end, he arrived just before the bell, slipping into his seat between Remus and Sirius. Professor Flitwick soon began his lecture on newts, and I turned off, instead writing an apology on a piece of parchment before charming it to fly at potter head in the shape of an owl. When it fluttered on his desk, he unfolded it, but only so he could quickly scrunch it up and throw it in the bin at the front of the room without bothering to look at me.

Alice and Marlene, sitting on either side of me, gave me strange looks, but chose not to comment on it, given Flitwick was finally starting on the topic – a charm for fireworks. My dejected mood improved, as I thought of all the embarrassing and public displays of affection Potter had sent me over the years, and I thought I had an idea, but since when did I want to impress Potter with my charmswork?

JAMES POV

_Potter, I'm really sorry about what I said on the train. Not even you deserve it, and I said it in the heat of the moment. I swear I did not mean any of what I said.  
A thousand apologies,  
-L_

I seethed. The nerve of her, sending me notes in class when she had taken points off last year for me doing just that. I scrunched it up and threw it in the bin without considering accepting it. Flitwick told us to partner up and practice, and Sirius and I immediately looked at each other. It was a relatively simple charm, one that we marauders had mastered back in fourth year given our numerous pranks. We entertained ourselves by conjuring up dragon fireworks and sending them around the room, racing each other. Suddenly, a hush fell across the room apart from the popping and fizzing sounds of the fireworks. I looked over at Sirius and he was staring, open mouthed at something behind me.

I turned.

Wow.

Author's Note: A lot of POV changes in this one. oh well. I wonder what's so amazing that leaves even Sirius speechless?! Actually, i already know. Lily's starting to realize she likes James. Great! Now i've had a fair amount of views but no reviews :( that breaks my heart.  
review pretty pretty please and chocolate sprinkles on top?  
reviews are dragon fireworks


	4. First Patrol

Disclaimer: this would be mine in my dreams maybe...

LILY POV

I was ecstatic, really, that Flitwick had set us the fireworks charm for our first lesson. It was simple enough, and I've always had a knack for charms. I'd actually already tried it in the holidays when I was reading through my textbooks, and it took only about 30 seconds for me to cast it perfectly. Proud of myself, I looked up when a pair of fireworks raced past me. James and Black. Of course. They've been using fireworks as part of their pranks since fourth year and buying fireworks for every prank must have gotten tedious. On closer look, I realised that they were dragons, before one suddenly morphed into a proud, red and gold lion with a lazy flick of James's wand. It was the only time he had bested me in charms, I had to admit, but not for long. Ignoring Flitwick's applause and praise, I focused on the task I set myself.

"_Ignis_"

It worked. Silence fell over the room apart from Black and James's raucous laughing and the sound of the fireworks. Turning, I stared at the back of his head, and noticed with a smirk that Black had noticed, and his jaw seemed like it was doing its best to touch the ground. My face quickly turned back into sincerity, as James finally realised something interesting was going on behind him, and turned around. The loss of concentration caused his lion to disappear, leaving my fireworks the most attention gathering thing in the room. Everyone was silent – Flitwick had just said that making words with fireworks was hard, and in the stillness of the room, I didn't miss James mouthing one word – wow

JAMES POV

There she was, looking like a goddess, standing underneath the fireworks that so obviously were hers.

_James, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me?_

I knew the silence wasn't for the charm work itself, miracles were to expected of Lily Evans, after all, and this was nothing special. No the silence was for the sincerity. The vulnerability. And for my reaction to her being so public. Almost everyone knew that we had fought, yet absolutely no one knew what over.

I found myself immersed in her glittering emerald eyes, and knew that she was sincere. The connection between us was not to be denied, and I knew instantly that I was a fool for thinking I could ever forget her.

LILY POV

I lost myself in his beautiful hazel eyes and suddenly realised they weren't a plain hazel. No, they were flecked with gold and green, like molten heaven, or as close as you could get with eye colour anyway. Then his wand hand twitched and his lion appeared again, but it wasn't a lion. Nor was it a dragon.

_Apology accepted, Lily._

I heard a relieved laugh, and realised it was coming from my own mouth, as I let out the breath I didn't realise I was holding. Soon, his deep chuckle joined mine amidst a room of gaping mouths and surprised expressions. He looked me in the eye and smiled. Merlin his smile alone made my knees drop, and I knew that some time along the way, I'd started to like him. I supposed it was last year, when he actually grew up and stopped hexing everyone. The pranks kept up, but I noticed that they were often only to give Hogwarts a more positive atmosphere, if only temporary. More often than not, the Marauders had taken to pranking each other in public; there was a month period where they had a pranking competition between the four of them, and while it still caused uproar and hilarity, the only victims were themselves, and only a couple of innocent bystanders due to Peter's less than average wand work.

I'd looked up to him during those moments, as much as I hate to admit it, because the death or disappearance notices were coming more and more often, and it was out of jealousy that I yelled at the four of them when Peter's prank on Remus had accidently hit me, causing them to end their prank war, even though it was completely harmless and just a bit of fun. I'd admired his easy going nature, but from that first meeting on the train, I knew that his parents' deaths had affected him badly. I did not expect many pranks this year, and to be honest, was slightly disappointed. They were a part of life at Hogwarts, and I was sure I'd miss them, not that I'd ever admit it.

"Do you want to start at the top or bottom?"

His question caught me off guard. We'd just left the Heads common room for patrols when he posed it.

"I don't really care but we're closer to the top now so we may as well start there'"

"Okay sounds good."

We'd had a peaceful day after Charms, and although I wouldn't call us friends, we certainly weren't shouting at each other, nor were we ignoring each other. One thing I had learnt over the course of the day, was that I most definitely fancied James Potter. Alice had caught me staring at him during potions, and Marlene and Dorcas had caught me staring again in transfiguration. On separate occasions. But merlin, his body was fine. I'd always known he was fit, and had known to what extent when Sirius dumped all his clothes in our dormitory last year and he had to fly up on his broomstick in only his boxers to get them back before we kicked him out, and threw his clothes after him down the stairs. But never before had I felt this sort of attraction towards it and this kind of appreciation for quidditch.

"Do I have something on my face?"

I started, cheeks blushing the same colour as my hair. I hadn't even realised I was staring, but James did.

"Uh no your face looks good, uh I mean your face looks fine."

My face burning, I stuttered and taking in his look of confusion, did the only thing I could do. I shoved him against the wall and shoved my lips against his.

Author's Note: Yeah this happened really quickly, but that doesnt mean this is nearing an end. I know where i want this to go already, so please stay tuned! How's James going to react? Are they going to go out?  
Reviews are marshmallows dipped in chocolate


	5. Bets Won and Lost

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I still don't own this as much as I'd like to.

JAMES POV

It was starting to make me nervous.

"Do I have something on my face?"

She started and blushed. Since when did Lily Evans blush because she was looking at me?

"Uh no your face looks good, uh I mean your face looks fine."

Perplexed, I wondered what she felt about me. Did that mean I have a chance? Or maybe she was just messing with my head. I opened my mouth to say something but she slammed me against the wall and covered my mouth with hers. Fireworks exploded in my stomach, and I was seeing stars on the back of my eyelids. I put one hand on the small of her back and delicately cupped her face with the other.

Eventually, we pulled apart, panting for breath.

"You know, Evans, I'm pretty sure this is what we're patrolling for – to stop others from doing things like this."

"Oh shut up and kiss me."

"Not that I'm complaining or anything but –" the rest of my sentence was muffled by her mouth again. Breaking away reluctantly to gather some breath into my poor lungs, I leaned my forehead against hers. The emerald in her eyes were darkened with lust, an expression I was sure was mirrored in my eyes. "So… Where does this leave us?"

LILY POV

It was indescribably amazing. It felt like heaven on earth. In my previous 3 relationships, never had a kiss made me felt so many things, and yet still aching for more. Resting our foreheads against each other, panting to catch our breath, I looked at him. It was hard to believe that just a few days ago, I absolutely hated the guy.

"So where does this leave us?"

My heart jumped up my throat at that. I knew it. He no longer had any feelings for me. Unless he really was that daft? I doubt it. He was top of the class in transfiguration and Defence against the dark arts. And worse, this was all my fault. He hadn't asked me out at all since the Christmas of sixth year where I lost it in the Gryffindor common room, telling him I hated him with all my heart, and for him to never talk to me again. Of course, Slughorn paired us up for an assignment the next day, but even then we barely spoke. I had pushed him away. As I felt tears welling up, I heard his beautiful voice again. Hang on. Since when was even his voice beautiful?

"Does this mean you'll finally go out with me?"

"Hell yes" I smiled, "now shall we get back to rounds, Mr. Potter?"

"okay." And we continued, hand in hand.

JAMES POV

I woke up with a giddy smile on my face. I still couldn't believe it. Last night, Lily Evans, THE Lily Evans shoved me against a wall and kissed me. And now we're going out. I was breezing through my morning preparations, when it hit me. Could it have been a dream? Almost frantically, I ran into the heads common room, to find Lily leaving her room as well.

"er… Lily… was that a dream last night?"

"Was what a dream?" she looked at me, confused, and kissed my cheek.

"Evidently not I guess. Breakfast?" I grinned, holding out my arm.

"Please."

The effect when we walked into the Great Hall was instantaneous. It was almost like everyone had a James and Lily Radar. We hadn't even taken 2 steps when silence broke out with everyone staring at us, even the teachers. Suddenly, the entire hall (minus the Slytherin table) broke out into raucous applause. Did I just see McGonagall wipe away a tear?

"Am I dreaming?"

"When did the apocalypse happen?"

"Congrats guys!"

"Nicely done, Potter."

"Woooooh Prongs!"

"Thanks Padfoot," I mumble, rubbing my back that felt like it would collapse under the sheer amount of pats it had received. Looking around, I realized that Pads and Alice were the only ones of our friends who had actually recovered from the shock of seeing us not fight, let alone holding hands. He was grinning like Christmas had come early while Alice just had this knowing look on her face. Remus looked like I had just announced I wanted to become a woman, while Pete was doing his best to get his jaw to touch the ground. Marlene, Mary and Dorcas looked as if they were watching a muggle tennis match, eyes swiveling between the two of us, mouths wide open like Pete.

"Honestly guys. You were the ones telling me to give him a change. Now I've given him a chance and you're staring at us like buffoons," Lily admonished, pouring herself a glass of pumpkin juice.

"He. You. Arrogant toerag. What?" Marlene seemed incapable of stringing a few words together.

"Oh shut it Marly you're not making any sense," I chuckle, and set about eating my breakfast. Before long, class time arrives and we all head off to Defence against the Dark Arts. While getting another lecture about the NEWTs, I noticed a note flutter onto my desk

SB: So how did you finally do it?

JP: Exactly what are you on about my dear Padfoot?

RL: Quit playing dumb Prongs. How did you finally convince Lily Evans to go out with you?

JP: Because of my sexy face of course. And patrolling with her.

SB: What?

JP: yea we were just patrolling and she was staring at me so I asked her if anything was on my face, and she told me my face looked nice and then stuttered a bit then shoved me against a wall

PP: You got her to go out with you after she shoved you against a wall? I'm impressed

RL: It's not what he said is it Prongs?

JP: Well it wasn't hard afterwards…

SB: It may not have been difficult after she tried shoving her tongue down your throat, but knowing you, it was certainly still hard eh Prongsie boy?

JP: Shut up Padfoot

PP: Wait she kissed you?

JP: Yes Wormtail, haven't we established that already?

RL: No wait, you said that SHE kissed YOU?

JP: Uhhh yes?

RL: Wow

JP Thanks for the support Moony

PP: Nice going Prongs!

SB: That's my boy! Now boys, I think you all owe me 10 galleons?

JP: Wait what?! You guys bet on this?

RL: Prongs. Pretty much the whole school bet on this. Padfoot here was the one that thought you'd get together in the first month of school…

SB: Imagine the odds I'd have gotten for first night!

LILY POV

Sitting down in Defense against the Dark Arts, I was bored in 5 minutes flat. The same old NEWTs speech. Then, Alice sent a note to me [A/N Marlene will be **bold** and Mary will be _Italitcs_]

AP: Lily, what in the name of Merlin's soggy left sock

LE: Exactly what are you on about Ms Prewett?

DM: Ms Evans exactly why did you walk into the great hall this morning holding hands with JAMES POTTER?!

LE: er… why is his name capitalized?

**MM: It's James Potter! You know, arrogant toerag?**

_MM: Selfish git?_

AP: Stuck up, narcissistic barstard?

LE: Okay I get it!

DM: Good. Now explain yourself young lady!

LE: Alright guys relax. I guess I'd better tell you guys the whole story, starting from the Hogwarts Express.

AP: oh so we get to hear the explanation to Lily's moodiness then too? Great

LE: I was not moody!

LE: what's with those looks guys

**MM: not moody?**

LE: okay maybe a little…

_MM: whatever hurry up and explain things!_

LE: Fine, fine don't get your knickers in a knot. So basically you know how I went early to meet the head boy, who's James? I may have accused him of stealing the badge to talk to me, and bribing Dumbledore to give him the badge… And I may have implied that his parents' deaths led to him getting the money to do so…

**MM: Oh dear Merlin. Lily you didn't**

LE: I did. I know. I'm a horrible person. And I was going to apologize when Alice and Remus walked in.

DM: Lily we know James embarrassed you a bit, but that's way too far. Even for a Slytherin that would be too far.

LE: I know. So you guys all know how I was trying to get his attention and how I apologized in charms. Well basically we were patrolling and we were talking, and I started staring at him without realizing, and he asked me if there was something on his face, and I kinda got really embarrassed and told him his face looked good, and then in my confusion and embarrassment shoved him against a wall and kissed him…

AP: YOU WHAT?!

_MM: Lily Evans you mean to tell us that you KISSED JAMES POTTER?!_

LE: errrr yes?

**MM: Well you took your bloody time!**

DM: All I can say is: Finally, Lils, finally. Now, guys, I believe u each owe me 5 galleons

LE: Hold up a second. You guys bet on this?

**MM: Honey, I think you'd have a hard time finding someone who didn't bet on this**

AP: yeah, Dorcas would be one of the few to think you'd agree to go out with him in the first week.

LE: Wait, if you guys bet on this why were you all so surprised?

_MM: That doesn't mean we thought you actually would win it… or that it would be so quick_

AP: Exactly. And Lily?

LE: Hmmm?

AP: I told you so.

At the front of the room, the professor looked up blinking, taking a pause from his revision of non-verbal spells. He could've sworn he heard the clinking of coins. Oh well, he shook his head, turning back to his lecture, he was sure Minerva had gotten more money than whoever had won their bets in this room combined.

Author's Note: Yay Chapter 5 finished :D School started again, so i'll be trying to update once a week. Thanks to Number-1 T-Bone-beatThat and Lisa who reviewed, i'd love it if more of you could do so! Next chapter we're going to have some more Lily and James, and while the others start to have some misgivings about their relationship. Stay tuned!  
Reviews are delicious macaroons :D


	6. Arrogant Git

Disclaimer: i know it's been a while, but still not mine.

A month had passed and curiously, Professor McGonagall had turned a blind eye to any misdeeds that the head students (mainly James) may have done, even not mentioning the two of them arriving to class late on multiple occasions. Both head students had been harassed by a large majority of the student body, asking if it was a joke, and if James (for the girls) or Lily (for the guys) would go out with them. In each case, Lily would angrily tell the girl to back off before passionately kissing James, while he would pull out his wand and threaten to hex them.

LILY POV

I'm going to kill Jacki Greene. The Hufflepuff had spent all of Herbology flirting with James and there was nothing I could do about it. Professor Sprout had paired them together for a Herbology assignment, one that required for them to work together after class hours as well. My partner, Sirius, turned to me, and said, "Calm down Flower. James isn't even responding to her advances. As if he'd cheat on you anyway."

I'd believed him then, but as I wandered through the castle, I saw James and Sirius standing among nearly a dozen Slytherin students, all on the ground, either stunned or hexed beyond recognition. My raged flamed up instantly when I recognised the long black hair of Severus.

"Potter! Black! What do you think you are doing?!"

"Lily! It's called self-defence!"

"So I'm supposed to believe that the two of you took out 11 Slytherins on your own?"

"Well they're not incredibly bright, you know."

And of course, Jacki Greene decided that was the perfect time to arrive on the scene.

"Oh Merlin! Are you okay Jaimsie Waimsey?"

"Aaargh!" I closed my eyes. When I opened them and spoke, the calmness in my voice scared me. "I thought you'd changed, James. I thought that at least your parent's death meant something. I should've known it was just an act to get me to go out with you."

"You're going to use my parents death on me again, Lily?"

"Shut it, Potter. Detention for a week. For both of you. And 100 points from Gryffindor. Yes, Black, from my own house. And 20 points from Hufflepuff."

"And exactly what did I do?"

I looked at her in disdain, trying to coil herself around James while he tried to ignore her.. Whatever. I ignored the fact that she spoke.

"Well Potter, you sure move on fast. You've already got girls falling over themselves to get you just seconds after being newly single. By the way Black, you'd better get your part of Herbology finished or else."

"Wait. You're breaking up with me over this?!"

"Always knew u were a smart one, Potter." And with that, I turned on my heel and left, but not quickly enough to hear Greene say "Let her go Jaimsey Waimsey. That mudblood's not worth your attention anyway."

I blinked back tears as I ran all the way to the Gryffindor dorms, choked out the password and sprinted up the spiral staircase, into my old dorm before collapsing on Alice's bed in tears.

JAMES POV

"What the hell just happened?"

"Oh don't worry about her Jaimsey-"

"Greene will you shut up and leave me alone? I'm no interested and quite honestly, you're a disgrace to your gender and your house!"

Her bottom lip trembled as if she was going to cry but I found myself not caring in the slightest. I was too angry and confused about what had just happened with Lily.

"Fine!" and with that, she stomped down the corridor as I slid down, back to the wall.

"Prongs, mate. You okay?

"She just broke up with me."

"Yeah, mate do you want to sneak out to Hogsmeade?"

"She just broke up with me. Because we were defending ourselves?"

"Well in her defence, I don't think she knew exactly what was going on. Prongs? James?

REMUS POV

"-what was going on. Prongs? James?"

I heard Sirius's voice coming from the corridor I was walking to, I quickened my pace, and what I saw was the last thing I expected. About a dozen students, Slytherins form the look of their ties and robes, lay around, either stunned or hexed, or both. James was sitting with his back to the wall, head in his hands as Sirius stood over him, hand on his shoulder.

"What in the name of Merlin's left baggy sock happened here?"

"Oh hey Moony."

"Don't 'hey moony' me, Padfoot. Explain. Now, what would Lily say if she caught you guys with these Slytherins?"

"Calm down Moony. We were walking down this corridor when these Slytherins attacked us. We got rid of them all, but Evans came here, wouldn't let us explain what happened, took a hundred points of our house, yelled a bit at Jacki Greene, then broke up with Prongs, and then James here yelled at Greene again, and now he's kind of in shock, I think."

"Wait. Lily broke up with Prongs? And she took a hundred points off her own house for self defence?"

"That's what I said."

"She didn't listen did she?"

"Nope."

I analysed him. He seemed crushed.

"Prongs, maybe you should talk to her. Explain what happened."

He didn't respond for a minute, then, agonizingly slowly, he stood up, brushed himself off, and said with the voice of indifference, "Fuck Lily Evans."

Author's Note: Yes they've broken up. No that's not the end of this story. I received a question about how long this will go for. I'm not sure yet. If i don't abandon this story, it will go until the end of their 7th year. I think there will be some more familiar faces in the next couple of chapters, and I've got a basic outline in my head.

I APOLOGISE FOR TAKING SO LONG TO UPLOAD THIS. My hard drive got wiped (twice) and school is really starting to pick up. Speaking of which, I probably won't update for a while because exams are coming up and unfortunately, education comes over leisure. I will upload as soon as possible so please don't give up on me! Thank you to all those people who have stuck with me through this time and especially those who reviewed!

Thank you all and please review!


	7. Hogsmeade

Disclaimer: Still not mine

The next day, James Potter scared everyone. He sat in class and focused. Not once did he even make a sound other than to answer a question. It was so unnerving that Professor McGonagall even asked him if he needed the hospital wing, to which he replied that he was fine, thank you very much, and the biggest giveaway of an animagus is an identifying mark on the animal form's body. That earned him 15 points for Gryffindor. The scariest part, however, was that despite Lily Evans walking past him numerous times, he never even spared her a second glance. Even more surprising for a group of 6th and 7th year Ravenclaws, when Lily Evans walked into the library, James Potter promptly walked out of the library, before ducking his head back in and summoning his books and quills that he had left on the table. Perhaps, it was scariest for his fellow 7th year Gryffindors who talked to him over the course of the day, as he would now instantly change the topic or turn silent should Lily Evans come up in conversation, or come up in real life. To their dismay, this behavior continued for weeks on end, the two heads would only speak if absolutely necessary.

SIRIUS POV

"This is absolutely ridiculous!"

I looked up, surprised that Alice Prewett of all people was raising her voice. What I did not expect to see, however, was 4 pairs of eyes staring down at me.

"Er… what's ridiculous? And could you guys please give me a little room, as irresistible as I am."

"Shut up you prat", Dorcas scowled, dragging Mary and Marlene back a little, "and what's ridiculous is our dear heads of this school who refuse to acknowledge the other exists! I mean this was to be expected of Lily like 3 years ago, but James hasn't even looked at her unless he had to for 2 weeks!"

"Right. So you guys might want to hear the whole story. You should come up to our dorms then so we get a bit of privacy."

I stood up and starting walking up the stairs, knowing they'd follow, given the curious nature of the other students. Moony and Frank were in the room but Wormtail wasn't.

"Where'd he go?"

"Good question."

"Oh well. Frank, I know you wanna know about what happened between Prongs and Lily-flower too so you may as well stay. The girls just ambushed me about it so I dragged them up here."

And as if on cue, they burst through the door, Alice smiling and heading straight over to Frank while the others sat themselves on the other beds in the dorm.

"Well? Spit it out already!"

"Yeah yeah, calm down Marley. Basically on that Thursday before all this crazy stuff started, Prongs and I were walking down from the Owlery when this group of Slytherins jumped us on the fourth floor. There was Snape, Mulciber, Avery, Greengrass, the Carrows, Parkinson, Nott, two 5th years by the look of them and my dear little brother. We managed to stun or hex them all somehow although I think some of them got hit by their own side. And that's when flower walked into the corridor."

I closed my eyes as I retold them what happened, and when I opened them, I was shocked by the looks the girls were giving each other, as if they expected something like this to happen. I wasn't the only one to pick it up, and Moony spoke up, "Okay what aren't you guys telling us?"

They exchanged another look and then Mary spoke up, "well we figured that Lily probably did something stupid. You guys know how they got together, well she's not interested in a purely physical relationship, and something stupid within her probably snapped and broke up with him. I think deep down, she's afraid that once we graduate and James gets into an actual fight, he might not be coming back, and she doesn't want to lose him like that but she's convinced herself that she hates him again."

"Well that's reassuring."

We all turned out heads to see Prongs walk through the door, "Hey Prongs, what's up?"

"Slughorn's looking for you, Pads. Something about an exploding cauldron."

"Oh shit. I should go. Cheers man."

"I'm coming with you. I've got to go patrol now."

Alice spoke up for the first time since entering the room then, "So James, er how are patrols with Lily? You know, after…"

"You'd have to ask her. I do the dungeons to 3rd floor and she does 4th to 7th. We don't have to talk that way."

LILY POV

I was starting to miss James. I hate to admit it but I was. For the last 6 years, I'd ignore him but he'd make it impossible. I missed how he asked me out. I missed how he'd ruffle his hair. Hell, I missed how he'd muck around in class. Perhaps I should apologise? After all, I'd gone and used his dead parents again to make my point. And the others were right. I'd never really let them explain what happened. Then I saw him coming through our door, and I went right back into my shell. No way. He's still an arrogant toe-rag. I hate him.

JOANNE EVANS POV

"Honey! I'm home!"

David's arms enveloped me and I smiled, the age old greeting not lost between the two of us. Petunia was over at Vernon's and Lily, well Lily was learning magic. It still gave me a little thrill just thinking about it, and how our lives may have been different if she wasn't a witch.

"Like how you would still be alive in a few minutes?" A cold voice sounded from behind us. We whirled around, to see a man, if you could call him that, in black robes and a wand in his hand, "that's right, I can, read minds, as you filthy muggles put it."

"Who are you? What do you want?" I felt, and saw David edge his way in front of me, his voice strong even though I knew he was as terrified as me.

"I am Lord Voldemort. As for what I want, just two little things, otherwise known as your lives. AVADA KEDAVRA!"

Darkness.

LILY POV

Somehow, the others had managed to get James and me talking again and somehow, we had managed to become friends. It was the last Hogsmeade weekend before Christmas break began in two days on the 21st, and the ten of us had decided to go to Hogsmeade together. Or rather, Dorcas, Marlene and Alice had decided and literally dragged us all along. We were actually having fun and laughing when we went into the Three Broomsticks for a drink. Like normal, Sirius flirted heavily with the barmaid, Rosmerta, and came back 20 minutes later, laden with drinks. We were all laughing and joking around when a scream pierced the air. Another customer poked his head out the door of the now deathly silent pub and quickly withdrew it, shouting, "Death Eaters!" and promptly disapparating. Chaos broke loose and the air was filled with the sounds of pops of adults disapparating and screams. Suddenly, a bang sounded and everyone quieted, all staring up and directly to my right. I looked and saw James standing on the table, wand in hand, eyes blazing.

"Quiet! Everyone listen to me! Those of you who below 5th year will follow Peter to Honeydukes. You will do exactly as he says and you will be perfectly fine. If you are 5th year and above and wish to assist us in fighting the death eaters, then you are welcome to help, but no one will think any less of you if you choose not to. Rose, can you please contact the Ministry and Dumbledore. Will those of you willing to fight please step forward."

A group of a dozen or so stepped forward and withdrew their wands, masks of grim determination on their faces. I stared in awe as James gave a piece of parchment to Peter, telling him to lead them through the secret passageway or something. He then turned to the rest of us and told us we had to buy enough time to warn the others in Hogsmeade and get them to Honeydukes before following them. He split us into two groups – a fighting group and a group to warn and protect other students and get them to Honeydukes safely. I was inexplicably in awe of the way he managed to get everyone to listen to him – then I guess that was to be expected, after all, he had been Quidditch captain since 4th year. Just as we were getting ready to move, the glass of the window shattered and a curse flew into the crowd of people, causing more shrieks and screams.

Author's Note: THANK YOU SO MUCH those of you who read this! I'm so sorry for not posting earlier but now my exams are over and hopefully i can update more regularly. i meant for the hate each other part to go for longer but i just wanted to get on with it. Yes i know it seems rushed and i apologise for that. if it's a little confusing, Lily's parents died around the same time the attack on Hogsmeade began. I'm thinking of starting another story full of one shots/drabbles that I randomly come up with in my head, but i'll see how i go. Thank you so much i love you all heaps. thank you to all those who reviewed/favourited/followed, it means so much. You may also notice that i named all the chapters now :D  
Reviews are salvation (from exams)


	8. Death and Destruction

Disclaimer: I dont know why i bother. Still not mine :(

LILY POV

"_Stupefy_!" I heard James shout, aiming at the death eater who had thrown the curse.

"Is anyone hit?"

Another scream pierced the air, and I saw a girl, perhaps a 4th year, lying on the ground. James bent over her, checking her pulse. He swore.

"She's dead. There's nothing we can do for her right now. We need to get you all to safety. Let's go, we'll come back for her body later."

A flurry of movement hit the pub, most of the people leaving instantly and doing as James has told. However, he himself stood there, a look of intense concentration on his faced.

"James? There's nothing you could've done. James?"

"I know. Know shush so I can concentrate. _Expecto Patronum_!" A magnificent stag shot out of his wand and galloped towards the castle.

"What?"

"Sending a message to Dumbledore and Pomfrey, just in case Rosmerta doesn't reach them in time. Let's go."

We hurried out onto the main street, joining up with Sirius and Marlene on the way.

"_Incarcerous!"_

"_Diffindo. Petrificus Totalus_ !"

The ropes fell free and the death eater fell to the ground. An arm reached down and hauled me to my feet. I turned to thank him, but James was already moving towards a group of 3 3rd year Hufflepuffs, surrounded by 4 Death Eaters.

"_Stupefy_!" we yelled simultaneously, blasting two of them off their feet. The other two snarled and turned towards us, slashing their wands in furious directions but a massive shield sprouted between us, deflecting all their hexes.

"Lily, you curse them, I'll watch your back."

Nodding with grim determination, I waved, stabbed and slashed with my wand, sending the remaining two death eaters reeling back into each other, out cold.

"Go to Honeydukes, do whatever Peter Pettigrew tells you to. Hurry."

A large group of death eaters came towards us. James, Sirius, Marlene and I were with the two 6th year Ravenclaw prefects.

What happened next could only be considered chaos. Several curses they shot at us were rebounded by our shields straight back at the caster, stunning them, but we were forced apart. We saw a few more 6th and 7th years running to our aid, but soon lost sight of them, needing to focus on our respective battles. To my left, James and Sirius were facing 10 death eaters between the two of them, and I was reminded of our fight when I broke up with him. Tears were just forming in my eyes when a large gash appeared on my left arm. I turned back to my own 3 opponents.

"_Stupefy! Expelliarmus! Immobulus! Petrificus Totalus! Tallangratella! Furnunculus!_"

"Nicely done Lils," James slid over beside me, nodding appreciatively at the three death eaters. He had a bloody nose and his shirt was practically torn to shreds. I looked at where he was, and the 10 death eaters strongly resembled the Slytherins back up in the castle weeks ago. He shrugged the remains off, grimacing as his torso came into view. My bottom lip found its way between my teeth, and I tasted my own blood in my mouth. Merlin, he had an amazing body. I almost wanted to lick the blood off his abs. Almost. He snapped me out of my reverie, however, by blasting a death eater behind me away. I turned, and saw another two running at us. One fired a stunner at me, which was deflected by a shield. I saw the shaggy hair that Sirius loved so much out of the corner of my eye as jets of red shot out from either side of me, stunning them. The air grew cold. A man strode towards us, cursing everything that stood in his path.

"James Potter. I would ask how your father is but I guess I know perfectly eh?"

The high pitched laugh was muffled by the blood pounding through my ears.

"And Sirius Black, how is your dear mother? Please give her my greetings and my sympathies of having blood traitor scum like you for a son."

"Go to hell" Sirius was cut in many places like me but his voice was still strong.

"And little mudblood Lily Evans. You look just like your mother. I wonder if you scream just like her too. _Crucio!_"

The shock of him talking about my mother was instantly overcome by excruciating pain. White hot knives stabbed at every inch of my body, and I could hear screams. My screams.

VOLDEMORT POV

I laughed as the girl writhed around in pain as the two blood traitors stood there, helpless. The joy I felt when mudbloods were in pain was glorious. I figured she had no idea that her parents were dead now. She'll found out soon.

"Expelliarmus!"

The spell took me by surprise, but I was able to deflect it. I looked down in wonder at the one who was brave enough to defy me.

"Aaaaaaah. Mr Potter. Why am I surprised? I'll admit that I'm impressed. Not many are brave enough to take on Lord Voldemort."

"You stay away from her!"

"Join me, and perhaps I will. I'm giving you a chance here, Potter. You as well, Black. This is a chance to redeem yourselves, and in your case, Potter, your family."

"Fuck off. We'd rather die. You stay the fuck away from Lily."

I smiled, a cold, humourless smile as he stepped in front of the mudblood.

"Bravery. I value that. What a shame, we could have made a great team."

"Go to hell!"

"Good afternoon, Tom. I'm going to have to insist that you and your followers please leave the area now."

I turned, and hissed. Of course he would come.

"Dumbledore. Your students seem very capable. I commend you on your tuition."

Then, popping sounds appeared all over the town. Many aurors' robes arrived, wands at the ready. With that, I disapparated, trusting the death eaters to do the same.

LILY POV

When I regained consciousness, James, Marlene, Sirius, Alice and Frank were crowded around my bed. Immediately I was engulfed by Marlene and Alice, completely smothering me. Sirius and Frank both kissed my forehead, expressing their relief that I was alright, and James just smiled and squeezed my hand, before leaving my bedside. I frowned, "Where's he going?"

My question was answered as he helped Mary over. She squealed, and gave me a hug, and told me how she broke her ankle. James was literally holding her up. Dorcas, Remus and Peter were there too and they all seemed to be crowded around me bed.

"I'm surprised Pomfrey isn't kicking you guys out." I managed a smile.

"Well I think we're the least of her worries. We all got patched up but there were a lot of injuries. 7 dead Lils. Dozens more wounded. We only managed to capture two of them. It was a fucking nightmare. Oh and Dumbledore's coming down to see us. Made me promise to tell him when you woke up."

"Yeah no problem."

"How are you feeling Lils?"

"As good as I could I guess-" but my response was cut short as Madam Pomfrey bustled over, checking me and forcing some more medication down my throat as Dumbledore strode in through the Hospital Wing doors.

"I just wanted to thank the ten of you for your part in the fight. I am so proud of you all. True Gryffindors. I just need for you to tell me exactly what happened from your points of view, perhaps one at a time in Poppy's office?"

We murmured our consent, and he led off Dorcas to start. Eventually, he got to me and while the others all stayed by my side, I couldn't help but notice they had worried looks on their faces.

"Guys, what's wrong?"

"Ms Evans, I'm afraid I have some bad news."

"I know about the death count, sir. James told me."

"Tragic as that is Ms Evans, this hits a little closer to home. I have to tell you that your parents were murdered last night in their house. Your sister was at her fiancée's house and was unharmed, but it looks like they were tortured and killed."

I couldn't help it. I cried. I knew. I knew Dumbledore had most likely told the others to warn them to help me cope or something, and I appreciated it. But I knew it was Voldemort. I remembered what he said right before he tortured me, "You look just like your mother. I wonder if you scream just like her too." I managed to get my hands away from my eyes to look at Dumbledore.

"It was him," I choked out, "He was baiting me about it before he tortured…"

A fresh wave of tears overcame me but I managed to hear him asking me if I was sure. I nodded. But the sadness overtook me. Dad. Gone. I'll never run into his strong arms again. Mum. Gone. I'll never see her beautiful smile again. My heart broke a little despite the others all consoling me, rubbing my back, telling me it was going to be okay. But I knew it wasn't. It would never be okay. It would never be the same.

Author's Note: Wow i'm on a roll! 2 in 2 days. I'm not sure if i mentioned this last chapter or not but i'm thinking of starting a collection of oneshots and drabbles that i randomly write. Mainly of Jily, of course. Thoughts? Please review it means a lot.  
Reviews are like chocolate


	9. Recovery and Devastation

Disclaimer: not mine...

ALICE POV

"How is she?" I had barely stepped into the head's common room when James asked the question.

"She's sleeping. She'll be okay. I think."

He collapsed onto the couch, head in his hands. I'd known James for a long time – we were cousins and frequently visited each other before Hogwarts – but I'd never seen him this crushed apart from when Lily broke up with him and when his parents died. He looked like when Voldemort tortured Lily and killed her parents, he'd actually done that to him. He looked like his world had been torn to pieces, like Lily's pain was his pain, both physical and emotional. I just sat down between Marlene and Mary. We hadn't been as close in the last 6 years, thanks to Lily's feelings towards him and I no longer knew him like Sirius and Remus did. Even then, they were quietly talking in his ear, rubbing his back. He nodded and stood up, starting to leave. Remus turned around to us, "We're going to the kitchens. You guys want to come? Or we can bring something back."

"Just some chocolate."

"Come on Dorky, more like a lot. Lily has a bit of a chocolate addiction. And we could all do with some. We'll stay here with Lils."

He nodded once and followed the other boys out the portrait hole.

REMUS POV

"Hey guys, I think we should head to Honeydukes."

"Moony now is not the time for your chocolate cravings. And we're all starving."

"It's not for me. It's for Lily. Alice said she has a little chocolate obsession and someone (I looked at Padfoot critically here) took the rest of my stash."

"Hey, I was hungry!"

"Shut up Padfoot. Listen. You guys go on ahead to the kitchens. Bring some food back to the common room for me and the girls."

"And where might you be going?"

"Honeydukes. Bye."

"Prongs! Won't u need the cloak or the map?"

"No it's okay I'm head boy remember? I'll just say I'm patrolling."

And with that, he left, jogging towards the statue of the humpbacked witch.

LILY POV

"Come on Lils, the boys are all gone to the kitchens. They'll probably be there for a while. You should come out and we can all sit around the fire."

"Alice…"

"Oh come on Lily! I swear in Merlin's name I will levitate you out of your bed if you don't come out this instant. You got out of the hospital wing 30 hours ago and that whole time you've spent in bed! Now you go take a shower because you smell worse than Sirius after a 4 hour training session. Or we let James up here."

I chuckled, knowing that James would probably pick me up and carry me downstairs, but inside, my heart ached, knowing that he wouldn't kiss me, telling me I was beautiful. However, an incantation shattered my daydreams.

"_Wingardium Leviosa!_"

"MARLENE MCKINNON YOU PUT ME DOWN THIS INSTANT!"

"Sure Lils," she smiled. That wasn't good. I dropped all of about 15 centimetres onto the tiling of the shower. Then, a jab of her wand set the water on. I shrieked as the water soaked through my shirt and shorts that I'd been wearing for the better part of two days.

10 minutes later, I walked into the common room with Mary practically poking her wand into my back. Sure I know they mean well but seriously! I chuckled as I sat down with the others, my hair in a loose bun, lying down on Dorcas's lap.

Just then, the portrait hole opened, and James stepped in, holding a bag that was clearly lumpy everywhere.

"What's in the bag?"

JAMES POV

When I saw her, my eyes lit up. She's clearly just taken a shower and she looked beautiful like always. But after the Lily of the last couple of days, this was a massive improvement.

"What's in the bag?"

I chuckled, "A lot of things Lil, would you really like to know?"

She nodded, a ghost of a smile gracing her lips. I smirked, getting ready to upend the bag in the middle of their little circle when an annoyingly loud cry interrupted me.

"Food!"

The aroma of roast and gravy wafted through the portrait hole as the boys came back with a couple of picnic baskets.

"What's this? A feast?"

"Why my dear Marlene, of course it is!"

I chuckled a little at Padfoot's excessive antics, "Well come on you great big oaf, share the spoils."

"With pleasure!"

And with a wave of his wand, a couple of whole roasts chicken, mashed potato and gravy, some salad, a loaf of bread, some roast beef and potatoes, a couple dozen butterbeers as well as plates and cutlery flew out of the basket, "The house elves send their regards and request that we leave everything in the basket to keep the smell out of the room and leave the basket in the room so they can pick it up in the morning. But in the meantime, tuck in!"

I was relieved to see Lily do just that, not that I should be surprised, given she hadn't eaten in a couple of days, but we all joined in, pretty much full, when I decided to upend the chocolates I had gotten from Honeydukes.

"Where did you get all that?"

"Honeydukes. Where else?"

"You didn't steal that did you?" looking up, I chuckled, Lily's scandalized tone matching that on her face

"Relax. I left more than the cost of this on the counter along with a note. We always make sure to do that."

MARLENE POV

We'd actually been all sitting in a circle in the common room near the fireplace for a while, talking and letting the marauders entertain us with their various stories. We were currently drowning in laughter about the time when they'd given Sirius a love potion that made him bellow out the infamous 'Professor Sprout I love you' poem of fourth year. Then, Professor McGonagall knocked on the door. She seemed troubled, but not because we were all in a room that was supposed to be used exclusively by the heads, nor that we had all this food. In fact, she seemed happy to see Lily smiling, but when she asked James to meet her outside, I had a slight feeling not everything was alright with my dear cousin.

He came back, a couple of minutes later, his tear-stricken face hung low, McGonagall actually supporting him until he sat down. He just sat there and cried. It was almost as bad as when he was told his parents died. Then she beckoned for me to go with her.

"Miss McKinnon. It is my extreme regret to inform you that your uncle and aunt, Lorenzo and Stephanie Potter, were murdered – well yesterday now, given the time, by death eaters. I understand they were very close to Mr Potter and you did now know them that well, so I told James first."

I was stunned. Speechless. First of all, McGonagall had just called James, James! True as it was, that uncle Lorenzo and aunt Stephanie weren't the closest of family that I had, the few times I had met them they were just like James' parents, although Stephanie was half blood, but kind, generous, and not giving a rat's ass about blood status. I did know however, that James was very close to them. And now, he was the only one who carried the Potter name. My parents no longer had brothers or sisters or cousins that they actually talked to. But my thoughts turned straight to James. The past half year, it was heartbreak after heartbreak. His parents were killed while he was at a Quidditch match, then Lily broke up with him for the most stupid reason I've ever heard, then his only living relatives that carry his surname are killed as well? I managed to break through the shock enough to resolve myself to help him as much as he needed, in addition to Lily, and climbed through the portrait hole back to the others.

They all looked at me expectantly. James was still crying softly on the floor, Sirius's arm around his shoulders.

"Lorenzo and Stephanie Potter are dead."

Author's Note: hey guys, another massive thanks to those that have stuck with me. I've been busy recently with a drama thing for school but i officially have holidays... starting in a week anyway, not that we do anything in school anyway. I'm hoping to get the next chapter up by the end of the week, I've already started writing it, and then i'll probably be updating a lot more regularly so stay posted! Thank you to all those reviewers and the kind words - i really appreciate it!

Reviews are liquid gold


	10. Pain

Disclaimer: nope, not the end of the world, not mine

Warning: some mature themes in this one. ATM, the only reason for the M rating

The next couple of weeks saw Lily get better and better day by day, but on the other side of the coin, James practically shut himself off from everyone who was not a marauder. The ongoing tensions between the Gryffindors and Slytherins had surprisingly, reached a sort of a stalemate, with no hexes being thrown around corridors and the hospital wing being empty for the first time in over a year. The marauders all withdrew from pranks and hexes and fun in general, and James and Sirius could be found actually taking notes in class and spending time doing homework in the library. The three of them excelled further than before in those few weeks, and even Peter managed an E in a transfiguration paper.

JAMES POV

"Full moon tonight, Prongsie! I'm so excited!"

"You would be," the reproachful voice of Moony sounded, "Prongs maybe you should sit this one out. We haven't don't much recently so Padfoot will be tripping over himself to be there and he'll be okay on his own."

"Sure Moony?"

"Yeah, Prongs. And talk to Lily will you? I think she's a little worried."

"Maybe…"

The sadness was overwhelming. They had no idea what it was like. To lose everyone. The closest relatives I had now was Marlene and her parents. Sometimes I felt like I had no friends. Like other than the marauders, everyone just wanted to be seen with me because I was a marauder, or because they wanted to get in my pants. The others didn't know, since I didn't share a room with them anymore, and I always waited until I was sure Lily was asleep, but then I wasn't really thinking straight today, only overcome by sadness. So I went up to my room and reopened those that were just healing.

LILY POV

"Solar Eclipse"

The portrait swung open for me to climb through, after a girls night. I was surprised that the guys weren't in the common room, mucking around, or like more recent times, talking in low voices and doing work. It unnerved me, how they were so quiet. I had a feeling that Sirius was getting restless too, like he'd do something stupid. And then there was James. I'd been so harsh to him this year, and he'd forgiven me both times, and more recently become my friend. In fact, I'd say that sometimes, he'd be better to talk to than Marls or Alice – he was just so understanding. But we hadn't even talked other than to organize the prefects meeting last week, where he merely sat there and let me do all the talking. Then afterwards, when Avery and Mulciber came by to see Nott and said something distasteful, he hexed the three of them into the hospital wing. They'd only gotten out 2 days later and he wasn't even punished. I was starting to get seriously concerned. I still felt guilty about when I broke up with him, although I had a feeling that the other girls knew what happened before I got there. Tomorrow would be 3 weeks since the marauders went and got all that food for us and we had a relaxing night. 3 weeks since James' aunt and uncle were killed. 3 weeks since we had properly talked. I missed him. I realized, that I missed him so much it hurt. He'd been that one constant in my life – always there for me. For the first 5 years, he constantly paid me compliments, and it made me feel special, not that I'd ever admit it. Last year, while he stopped the compliments, anyone who insulted me for any reason, including my ex boyfriend who called me a mudblood in a fourth floor corridor when he broke up with me, had turned up bloody and bruised or hexed beyond recognition. I felt a small amount of gratitude to him, because I knew it was him.

I stepped out of the shower, still caught up in my thoughts, and changed into more comfortable clothing, and went downstairs but then I heard something. Crying. And then a sound that reminded me of those muggle sushi chefs preparing their food. A groan of pain. I sprinted up the stairs to James' room and pushed the door open. I stood there, shocked, as I took in the scene before me. He sat there, with his beautiful face marred by tears. His arms were stained red from the cuts in his arms. The knife in his right hand glistened like a ruby in the light. His eyes, that glorious hazel colour, looked up at me, wide open with shock, and then horror.

"Lily… It's… Merlin… I'm sorry…" he stammered out.

My heart broke. I crossed the floor, gently pulling the knife out of his hands and putting it on the dresser. I embraced him, murmuring things into his ear. I felt him relax a little and wrap his arms around me, and squeeze tight, like if he was afraid that if he didn't, he'd lose me forever. I found that I didn't mind. I didn't mind that he was squeezing me tightly. I didn't mind the closeness between our bodies. I didn't mind that the blood on his arms was probably staining into me shirt. I realised, again, that I had fallen for him again, that without him, I was lost. He was the one that kept me grounded over the last 6 years. He was the one that comforted me when my parents died. He was the one that attacked Voldemort and stopped him from torturing me. He was the one that probably saved my life in Hogsmeade with those shield charms. He was the one that was always there for me, and now, I needed to be there for him.

"I'm here, James. Always."

Author's Note: Happy 21/12/12 people! Well it is in Australia anyway. I'm pretty happy with how this chapter turned out, and I've been toying with James or Lily cutting for a while, but I've decided on James because he'd bet there to stop Lily from doing so. I have a fair idea of what's happening next, but I'd love it if anyone would message me with ideas!

Now I probably won't get a chance to upload again until after christmas, so

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Reviews are you getting your favourite gifts!


	11. By the Fire

Disclaimer: Still belongs to the magnificent JKR

SIRIUS POV

"Hey James? We're going to head out no- Woah!"

I blinked, making sure my eyes weren't playing tricks on me. James, ever strong James, was crying in Lily's arms, bleeding from his arms.

"What happened?"

Lily looked at me. Then down to the ground. A knife, glistening in the light, lay there, stained ruby red. It didn't take a genius to put two and two together.

"Oh geez"

I crossed the space between us and grabbed James, desperately, to show him that I was with him. I felt him hold me back, in desperation. I heard, rather than saw Lily leave the room to give us some privacy, but it wasn't long until he broke away, and told me to "get the hell out there. Moony is waiting. You need to run it off."

I grinned, and told him to get rid of those godawful cuts before they scarred. As I left, I passed Lily in the common room. She rose to look at me with a questioning look, but I ignored it and just grabbed her.

"Thank you. Take care of him tonight," I whispered.

"I will."

LILY POV

I didn't sleep that night. I don't think James did either. We simply sat in the Heads common room, staring into the fire, or out the window, occasionally whispering nothings and encouragements. Sirius came up early in the morning, but fell asleep quickly.

The next morning, when we walked into the great hall, I was completely shocked. James smiled and greeted the others like nothing was wrong. Later that day, he pulled me aside after charms and shoved me in an empty classroom.

"I'm not snogging you, James," I smirked, knowing full well that wasn't why he'd dragged me here.

"Hilarious, Evans. Really, you crack me up. No seriously though, if it's alright with you I'd like to keep... last night... between you, me and Padfoot." His tone changed from sarcastic to pleading and vulnerable, and when I looked him in the eyes, he looked like the broken man from last night.

"Of course, James."

"Thanks" he grinned, all of a sudden back to the man he was in front of everyone else, and darted off to Herbology. Shaking my head in wonder, I followed him, pausing as he stopped on the first floor to repair a first year's bag for her. I felt something within me melt, and I knew that I really had fallen for him again.

JAMES POV

It was coming up to Christmas, and we were discussing our plans for the holidays. Remus, Peter, Dorcas and Mary were all going to spend the holidays with their families. Alice and Frank were spending Christmas at his, then going to hers on Boxing and Marlene were staying at her place – they were starting to become a steady, serious couple. The rest of us had anticipated the two snogging and shagging each other, but none of us had been ready for Sirius dragging Marlene into the great hall one day, telling her to "Hurry up or I'll find another girlfriend!" Lily and I were going to join them on Christmas Eve, but Professor Dumbledore had asked us as head students to remain behind for the first 3 days of the holidays to watch over the remaining students and allow the teachers a break. He'd also hinted that he wanted to talk to us and I had a sinking feeling this would have something to do with our dead relatives. Truth be told, Lily and I were almost happy to stay at Hogwarts those few extra days – it allowed Sirius and Marlene some time alone with each other – 3 days they'd probably spend shagging away. The two were never really concerned about PDA at Hogwarts despite everyone around them constantly telling them off about it. Then we were all going to meet up at the McKinnons' for the New Year's Eve Party – an annual party whose hosts alternated every year between the Potters, McKinnons and Prewetts. It just so happened that this year was the McKinnons' turn.

However, I had other concerns. Lily and I were getting very close lately, especially since she caught me cutting. I was rediscovering those feelings I had back in fourth, fifth and sixth years. Once, she'd caught me staring at her in Defence Against the Dark Arts, and instead of doing what she would normally do, she looked away and rubbed her neck, blushing. I felt a small bubbling of hope, that maybe we could actually have a relationship. Despite what I'd claimed to the boys, I was most definitely not over Lily Evans.

Author's Note: I'm so so so sorry guys, there really is no excuse other than a bad case of writer's block. I just could not start, or continue, or end this chapter. But I got some inspiration and I promise I will update within the next few days. I know this chapter is a lot shorter but the next chapter will be (hopefully) a bit longer. I'm going to delve a bit more into the other relationships – especially Sirius/Marlene, Alice/Frank and Remus/Dorcas, but never fear, there will be Jily involved. Definitely. And yes, they will be getting back together, in the next few chapters. By the way, I was slightly inspired for my idea for the two getting back together by the fanfic: Forever and Almost Always by the brilliant WordsInTheSky. I strongly suggest checking that one out.  
Thank you all for sticking with me, and please review!


	12. Chapter 12

Hey guys

I'm really sorry to say that I will be abandoning this story. I had a bit of fun with it, but with school and everything else, I simply do not have the time. I may return to it at some point in the future.

Thank you to everyone who favourited, followed and reviewed, I love you all, and I truly and very sorry for ending it on this note. I will probably continue to upload oneshots occasionally, according to availability. Thank you all xx


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